Thoughts about “Avoiding”
When a person stops talking to you seemingly out of nowhere, even though you know that you have not done anything on a rational level that the person decided to act this way, think about it like that:
If you take merely the (what I call) rational level — meaning the space and time where humans interact with each other — and you notice that you have not acted contrary to an ethical, moral or social accepted way, there is no logic comprehension on the acting of the other.
Avoiding conversation with someone on one side harms not the person that is not being answered but exactly the person that does not reply. This indicates only that there must be some misdeed — Why have we lost the capability to tell someone that we do not want to have any further interaction with them?
The real answer is hard to state, however there must be a mixture between the self-fear of dealing with confronting situation which asks for much deeper analysis than scratching the surface and the fast, daily changing times.
The challenge should be to seek those uncomfortable talks, to speak out the truth even if it hurts. We do no good in avoiding what is evident. On a long term, we harm the person even more and -maybe more importantly — ourselves.
So if you are the one not responding — speak up.
If you are the one being avoided, we must achieve the separation between the rational and the emotional level — the “what really is” and the “what I want the other space to provide me”.
If there is not rational reason as stated, then there is an emotional level. It is of incredible pain for a human not to be understood, not to be accepted — ultimately I would call it “seen” by their species. Aristotle said “if you are autonomous, you must be an animal or a god” — humans need humans. Being avoided hurts.
But the answer is rather within the claim wanted to be “seen” than the fact that a person just took a irrational decision. Nearer to the truth would be that our own lower self-esteem, low idea of value is what interferes and shows up into the rational realm.
This is what we must to attend within ourselves. To know that you are worth and answer, even it is not the answer we want. To be able to accept and thank those kid of answers, to have the wisdom to know that if we are being ignored it is an indicator that it is not meant for us.
In many cases observed, the emotional hurt comes from the past. Have we been bullied? Have suffered from self-doubt? Whatever it might be — it is worth a thought. Once you find the inner love, the before stated human conflict will dissolve automatically.
We are then able to rationalise the emotional and do not emotionalise the rational.